Put the Past Away

Do you guys remember the Third Eye Blind song "Jumper"? That's what was running through my mind a few days ago as I sorted hundreds of pictures, cards and notes (you know we all saved them) from middle school and high school. It was a 3 hour long flashback, and it was weird. There are so many great memories, but so many not so great ones too. It seems I only wrote in my journal or saved the notes from the bad times, and it all came flooding back. It is amazing to me how we have the ability to block so much from our memories. I have and always have had so much good in my life. But I realized the other day how much of the big picture you fail to see, or recognize, when you are a teenager. It made me wish I could write a letter to every teenage girl out there that thinks her life is a big disaster and give her a perspective from 10-12 years later. So much of what happens during those crazy years mold you into who you are as you move into your 20's, you just have to get through it, every teenage girl does.

So I relived much of 6-12th grade as I went through those boxes, and had a large trash bag right next to me. Almost all of the notes went in that bag, there is no reason for me to read those ever again. I kept all of the pictures, even the ones that make me think of people I no longer consider friends. I kept most of the cards except for those standard "Have a great Christmas, love ____."
It was a great feeling to throw some of that stuff away, what a release it was, I was putting the past away...for good.

As I finished going through all of the stuff from middle school and high school I started to find a bunch of cards from when I was real young. They were from all kinds of people---my grandparents, aunt, uncles, mom & dad, sister, friends, mom & dad's friends, my grandparent's friends. They were for birthdays, my communion, graduations, the several times I broke my arm, elbow, wrist etc. They made me think about how lucky I was, and still am to have so many people that care about me. Last semester we talked a lot in my secondary ed class about how difficult the lives of some teenage students are, those kids that have nobody. Looking through all of those cards, and the messages written in them made me feel so blessed. So thank you to all of you that made me grow up being such a loved and lucky kid. I know not every kid has that.