Just Me Talking

I'm finding the new show "Boardwalk Empire" hard to get into, and I really wanted to love it. I don't know what it is, I just don't like it.

I'm mad at myself that I haven't exercised in so long, and I have NO desire to start. I would like to start practicing yoga again, but I need to do cardio and lift weights too. I've always been on again/off again with exercise. How do I keep myself motivated so I don't fall off the wagon this time? Exercising again starts tomorrow, there, now I'm accountable; it's in writing.

I was looking at a (long) list of books I have written down that I want to read. There are hundreds. I think I'd have to live to be 1,000 to read all of the books on this list. I haven't read a book from start to finish in months. Another thing on my "do-for-me" to do list.

I'm super excited about the UGG snowboats I won on Ebay last night for 1/2 price. They were used for display and are practically brand new. It kind of makes me look forward to snow (sort of).

I'm really happy for all of my friends that are pregnant or have recently had babies. It feels like there have been a lot of babies born over the last couple of months, I haven't even gotten to meet them all yet. On the other hand, my heart breaks for several people I know that are trying to get pregnant. We hear about awful parenting everyday on the news, and I always think "why do they get to be parents when I have friends who would be fantastic parents and would do anything to have a child?"

My 30th birthday is about four months away. I think that's kind of crazy, where did this year go?

This Phillies team is just so much fun to watch. They seem like they genuinely like each other and make it so easy for the fans to love them. I'm hoping they get another W tonight, I want to go to another playoff game!

We finally started cleaning out the garage and storage shed yesterday. There is something refreshing about getting rid of stuff, especially when you can donate it. How do we all end up with so much stuff?!?

Today was the closest I've come to "doing nothing" in a long time. I keep getting sick and I just needed to slow down this weekend. It was kind of nice, and I only thought about all of the things I need to do a handful of times.

Bottled Up...

I have a list of "blog topics" piling up in an email I send to myself every so often. I have the intentions of writing about things that are on my mind and then don't ever follow through. I feel like I have thousands of thoughts bottled up but I don't have the time to let them out. 

No matter how much running around I do I can't (and don't) make everyone happy. I often feel I'm being pulled in several directions, and I don't even have kids yet. My relationships with the people in my life are very important to me, and I never feel "caught up." I also hate feeling like I'm disappointing friends/family.

I've fallen off the wagon with exercise (again.) My problem is I have no desire to do it---ever. I need someone to show up at my doorstep and make me do it, I just don't want to (and shouldn't) pay what it costs to have a trainer. I should be able to get my ass moving on my own. I want a flatter stomach and less flabby arms and it's not going to happen by just "thinking about" exercise. Why can't I be one of those people that "love running"---or are they all just lying?

We're almost 75% of the way through this year, hard to believe isn't it? I am pleased with myself for sticking with this blog (although I get wayyyy backed up sometimes.) But all of those other things I was aiming for have faded. Time to get back on track...

2001

WINTER:

• I rang in the New Year with my three roommates Lori, Erin & Sarah. We got all dressed up and went to several different house parties. It was a fun night!
• I decided to join Phi Sig. I didn’t know then I’d meet some of my best college friends through the sorority (I didn’t even know Adrienne yet!) Pledging was a great experience and I was so excited to be involved in something---joining the sorority was a turning point in my college experience. I was starting to feel like West Chester was home.
• My 20th birthday party at our house was an interesting night, Claire came up for it and I remember there was some roommate drama. Things were never boring at 224 E. Nields St.
• Concerts: Barenaked Ladies 

SPRING:

• I started baby-sitting for Alix and Noelle. I was waitressing and had Noelle & her mom at one of my tables. I thought she was the cutest little girl I’d ever seen and said if they ever needed a baby-sitter to give me a call. I heard from Laura shortly after and baby-sat for them the rest of the time I was in college.
• Went to the Woodlands for the first time for the Phi Sig spring formal. Some of my best Phi Sig memories are from the formals, they were the best!
• I drove down to VA to see DMB in their hometown with Mary. It was A LOT of driving for one weekend. It was cool to see Charlottesville although the show wasn’t the best.
• Concerts: Dave Matthews Band, David Gray

SUMMER:

• Spent my days baby-sitting and working at the Pepper Mill. It would get so hot in there I’d sit in the freezer when I had a few free minutes. The $ was worth it though!
• Visited Ocean City and Stone Harbor for the first time.
• Dance Marathon- a long 24 hours for a good cause!
• Good times going to a bunch of DMB shows with all different people.

• I introduced the Outer Banks to two friends I worked with at the Pepper Mill. We were supposed to have a big group but everyone backed out. I was just Steve, Dave and me until some visitors arrived later in the week. We drove up to the house and thought we only had half because it was so big. Nope, it was all ours! HUGE house, with a hot tub on the top deck, two houses off the beach. It was heaven---we had the best time. Steve and I still reminisce about that trip.
• Concerts: Tom Petty, Madonna, Barenaked Ladies & Vertical Horizon, Trey Anastasio, Janet Jackson

FALL:

• Back to school, it was hard to believe I was going into my junior year already. I was still living on Nields St. with Lori, Erin & Sarah
• I was the assistant recruitment chair and assistant pledge mom that semester, so many good times. 

•  I took a “little sister” in the sorority this semester, although that’s not how I think of her now. I remember sitting in Becky’s apartment just talking and talking one night, she had just decided to join Phi Sig and asked if I’d be her big. We weren’t supposed to promise anything but I told her then and there I’d love to. We started to spend lots of time together that led to a really incredible friendship. She was someone I never wanted to let down or disappoint, and I sort of think she felt the same way about me. She lived next door to the Phi Sig house so I got to see her a lot and also had somewhere to “get away” when I needed to get out of the house. She moved to CA and over time we sort of drifted apart a little. We can always pick up where we left off and I’m so happy we’ve been talking more often these days. Although I never really thought of her as my “little” since we were the same year, I do believe it’s what made us so close in the beginning. I love you Becky!
• September 11th- It will be the day we will never forget. We won’t forget where we were, what we were doing, who we were with or how we felt. I had an 8am class that was cancelled and I decided to walk home since my next class wasn’t until 11:15. I remember coming in the house and put on the TV to see live news coverage and something about planes hitting the Twin Towers. It was hard to understand what was happening. My dad called as the second plane hit, what the hell was going on? The TV was on for days, it felt funny to watch anything but the news. I remember the silence outside, a weird kind of calm. Everyone around me was stunned, the events of that day were so hard to comprehend. It was amazing to see the way people came together, differences were aside across the entire country. I never knew the significance this picture would have, taken in 1996 during a visit to the Statue of Liberty.
• Adrienne & I didn’t know each other too well until this semester. We realized at the same time we were basically the only ones in our group of friends that hadn’t turned 21 yet. It was a Friday night and we decided to hang out. We played beer pong for hours in the Phi Sig basement and the rest is history. She’s been one of my best friends ever since.

• I surprised my Dad with U2 tickets for his birthday. It was the first time either of us ever saw them and they were unbelievable. I was lucky to be able to give him such an awesome gift.
•  Concerts: U2, Barenaked Ladies, Elton John

2000

WINTER:

• Ringing in the new year, and new decade with some my best friends from high school. I remember sitting on Dennis's couch watching Billy Joel's "Millennium Concert" with Mary. It was before we all really went our separate ways, before we found home to be where we were going to school instead of where we grew up. That was a special NYE.
• Adjusting to college life, living on my own and learning how to share close quarters with a roommate.
• Finding a way to forgive someone that hurt me badly, I never thought I could do it.
• Ramsey Hall: partying in our dorm rooms. We had the best times, the guys even had fake snow one time.
• My first time skiing- my friends thought it was funny to bring me up to a black diamond trail. I had no idea what I was doing, almost killed myself getting off the ski lift. I had to walk down the entire mountain because I couldn't ski (I did have a partner since it happened to my friend Kristen too.) I don't know if I've ever been more pissed off than I was that day.

SPRING:

• Wawa Fruit Punch and cheap vodka was my drink of choice at this time. I hated beer and would play beer pong at parties with my own cups and the red stuff. I carried it all in a backpack, pretty funny.
• I made one of the biggest financial mistakes of my life (thus far, hopefully I won't be making anymore.) I purchased the biggest POS car, my little blue Toyota Tercel. I thought I didn't need anyone's help and made the decision to buy it without even talking to my parents or a good friend of mine at the time that knew a lot about cars. That car almost killed me when I was driving on the PA Turnpike and the transmission blew. I was going 70 m.p.h. and my car stopped...just stopped. I was in the middle lane, my car stopped, I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw a tractor trailer behind me. I said to myself "this is it." One of the scariest moments in my life. God was watching over me that day because I somehow was able to idle into the shoulder.
• Longest Flyers playoff game ever! We went to a party to watch the Flyers vs. Penguins and the keg ran out before the game ended. It was a long game! I think the entire dorm was up watching, and when the final goal was scored the whole place went crazy. One of the most exciting sports moments I can remember.
• Concerts: Third Eye Blind

SUMMER:

• My little sister graduated 8th grade, I was starting to feel like maybe we'd have more in common.
• Spending a week in the Outer Banks with Katie, Melissa, Jess & Gregg (before it was so popular to go down there.) We had the cutest house right off the beach and had a wonderful vacation. I did get my first speeding ticket on our way home though, I was devastated.
• I spent the whole summer babysitting for a great family who are now my close friends. Sarah and I did so many fun things--went to the beach, Great Adventure, took their dog to the park a lot. I was very lucky to have that job instead of being stuck inside the mall or a restaurant.
• This year would be the last time I ever spent a summer in my hometown. I spent so much time with friends "from home" and really treasure those summer nights, even though I hardly talk to any of them anymore. We grew apart, and almost 10 years later I understand that's ok.
• Concerts: Bruce Springsteen, Dave Matthews Band, Counting Crows & LIVE, Creed, Pearl Jam

FALL:

• I moved into my first real house on Nields St. in West Chester. I loved that house—it was pretty nice for a college house, finished basement and all. We had the best parties there (almost every night!)
• One of my roommates decided to join Phi Sig and I started to become friends with a lot of the girls. I was her “date” for Homecoming and started to think joining a sorority might be fun.
• I experienced waitressing for the first time at The Pepper Mill. I worked my butt off but made great money and met one of my favorite friends in the world there (Hi Steve!)
• My Dad graduated from Thomas Edison State College. What a huge accomplishment for him, we were all so proud!
• Concerts: Blues Traveler, Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, Bon Jovi, Dave Matthews Band

2000-2009: A Decade of Learning, Living, Loving & Becoming Me...

I have an obsession with planners, I love them. I love writing in them, I love keeping track of my schedule and knowing what I have to look forward to, and I love looking back and reading them... and remembering.

Lately I've been attempting to declutter and get rid of stuff-not easy for me. I'm going to briefly reflect on each of the years of the past decade. I'm hoping I can do a decent job and convince myself that I can get rid of the planners.

Here it goes. (I am doing 2000 & 2001 without planners, can't find them---it will be challenging)