Most of the time when we think of mourning, we think of the loss of one's life. According to Webster's the definition for mourn is to feel or express grief or sorrow.
When my sister Kelly was little she went to "Karen's house." Karen was a saint of a baby-sitter that ran a small daycare out of her home in HamiIlton, NJ. I would go there too during the summer and when I had off from school because our mom worked full time. I remember late in the afternoon as parents would start to trickle in to pick up their kids, Karen would always have Oprah on the television. We spent most of our days there outside playing in the backyard or at her parents pool. When I think back, it was probably the one hour a day Karen (sort of) had "Karen time". We would always give her a hard time; "Oprah? Why do you always have to watch Oprah?
As I found myself sobbing on the couch, happy that I saved the last three episodes on our DVR to watch all at once, I thought back to Karen and how I ended up being just like her. It was hard for a seven year old to understand The Oprah Winfrey show and how significant an impact it made on millions of people everyday.As I started to grow up I'd watch Oprah with my friend Chrissy during the summer. I know there are people out there that can't stand Oprah (although I really don't know how that would be possible if you knew what kind of person she is, the good that she's done for tens of thousands of people, the awareness she has brought to countless worthy causes, her authenticity and the genuine messages she delivered everyday.)
I was in mourning, and I know that sounds silly. I was feeling a sense of loss. The tears fell down my face because I learned so much from Oprah's shows. I think about all of stories I've seen about everyday people that had something good or bad happen to them and how it changed my perspective or brought awareness. A lot of times the show made me want to be a better person and reminded me we all can make a difference in this world.
In high school and college I'd watch it here and there if I was home (which wasn't all that often at 4pm.) Since DVR came into the picture, I've seen every episode of Oprah. It was an hour of "me" time, whether I was on the elliptical or watching it on the couch. I rarely multi-tasked while I watched; no computer or magazines on my lap. I wanted to take it all in, whatever the message was that day.
During the last 25 episodes or so, everyday they counted down to how many were left. I started to wonder what the last show would be like. Who would be Oprah's guests? Would she do a final surprise giveaway?
How much emotion would she show? I have to say, in the end, her last show was perfect. It was as far away from self-congratulating and ego-centric as you can get. It was pretty much everything I've learned from Oprah summed up into one episode. It made me want to be a better person all over again, and to a greater degree. It made me think "who do I influence and how can I make a difference? How can I bring awareness? What causes do I truly care about?"
I am sad there is no more Oprah at 4pm during the week. I wonder if there will ever be another show with so much power and influence; it will be interesting to see if anyone can come close to what Oprah has accomplished.
Some of my favorite parts of the show were...
“After deliberating for some time, we decided to do what we do best, and that is a show about and with everyday people. This show always allows people, hopefully, to understand the power they have to change their own lives. If there’s one thread running through each show we do, it is the message that you are not alone. Twenty-five years and I’m still saying thank you, America. Thank you so much. There are no words to match this moment. Every word I’ve ever spoken from this stage of The Oprah Show for 4,561 days of my life is what this moment is all about."
"I needed to have you to gauge how things were going during the show, if you were responding, if you were laughing, if you were tracking with me."
“The first week we went national, I remember I got a letter from a woman named Carrie in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Carrie said, ‘Oprah, watching you be yourself makes me want to be more of myself.’ That was and still remains one of the nicest things I ever heard. What Carrie felt is what I wanted for every single one of you. I wanted to encourage you to be more of yourself just as you all encouraged me."
"Something in me connected with each of you in a way that allowed me to see myself in you and you in me. I became your surrogate—to ask the questions, deliver the answers, learn, grow, expand my thinking, challenge my beliefs and the way I looked at the world. I listened and grew, and I know you grew along with me."
“Sometimes I was the teacher, and more often, you taught me. It is no coincidence that I always wanted to be a teacher and I ended up in the world’s biggest classroom. And this, my friends, will be our last class from the stage.
“What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."
“But what I want you to know as this show ends: Each one of you has your own platform. Do not let the trappings here fool you. Mine is a stage in a studio, yours is wherever you are with your own reach, however small or however large that reach is. Maybe it’s 20 people, maybe it’s 30 people, 40 people, your family, your friends, your neighbors, your classmates, your classroom, your co-workers. Wherever you are, that is your platform, your stage, your circle of influence. That is your talk show, and that is where your power lies. In every way, in every day, you are showing people exactly who you are. You’re letting your life speak for you. And when you do that, you will receive in direct proportion to how you give in whatever platform you have.
“My great wish for all of you who have allowed me to honor my calling through this show is that you carry whatever you’re supposed to be doing, carry that forward and don’t waste any more time. Start embracing the life that is calling you and use your life to serve the world.”
"Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. … You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others."
“Dr. Taylor sent me a sign that I have hanging in my makeup room. It says, ‘Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.’ And I ask the same thing in my home and at my companies."
"Well this show, and our guests, began to paint a different picture and allowed us to drop the veil on all the pretense and do exactly what we envisioned in that first show: to let people know that you are not alone."
“The show has taught me there is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don’t feel worthy once they have them."
“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?’ Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. ‘I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.’”
"I know I’ve never been alone, and you haven’t either. And I know that that presence, that flow—some people call it grace—is working in my life at every single turn. And yours too, if you let it in. It’s closer than your breath, and it is yours for the asking."
“I have felt the presence of God my whole life. Even when I didn’t have a name for it, I could feel the voice bigger than myself speaking to me, and all of us have that same voice. Be still and know it. You can acknowledge it or not. You can worship it or not. You can praise it, you can ignore it or you can know it. Know it. It’s always there speaking to you and waiting for you to hear it in every move, in every decision. I wait and I listen. I’m still—I wait and listen for the guidance that’s greater than my meager mind.
“The only time I’ve ever made mistakes is when I didn’t listen. So what I know is, God is love and God is life, and your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers. … It’s subtle, those whispers. And if you don’t pay attention to the whispers, it gets louder and louder. It’s like getting thumped upside the head, like my grandmother used to do. … You don’t pay attention to that, it’s like getting a brick upside your head. You don’t pay attention to that, the whole brick wall falls down. That’s the pattern I’ve seen in my life, and it’s played out over and over again on this show.
“What I’ve gleaned from this show: Whispers are always messages, and if you don’t hear the message, the message turns into a problem. And if you don’t handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don’t handle the crisis, disaster. Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?”
“You all have been a safe harbor for me for 25 years. It’s strange, I know, but you have been. And what I hope is that you all will be that safe harbor for somebody else—their safe place to fall. Do for them what you all are telling me the show has done for you. Connect. Embrace. Liberate. Love somebody. Just one person. And then spread that to two. And as many as you can. You’ll see the difference it makes.
“I am truly amazed that I, who started out in rural Mississippi in 1954 when the vision for a black girl was limited to being either a maid or a teacher in a segregated school, could end up here. It is no coincidence that a lonely little girl who felt not a lot of love, even though my parents and grandparents did the best they could, it is no coincidence that I grew up to feel the genuine kindness, affection, trust and validation from millions of you all over the world. From you whose names I will never know, I learned what love is. You and this show have been the great love of my life.”
“Every single day I came down from my makeup room on our Harpo elevator, I would offer a prayer of gratitude for the delight and the privilege of doing this show. Gratitude is the single greatest treasure I will take with me from this experience. The opportunity to have done this work, to be embraced by all of you who watched, is one of the greatest honors any human being could have. And I thank each of you for allowing me to speak in such a way that, no matter what was happening in your life, you could see the best of your selves. For everything there is a season, we know, and our time together on this platform is coming to a close. In a few moments when the final credits roll, I see it not as an ending, but as an extraordinary beginning. One chapter closed. The next chapter beginning for all of us.
“I’ve been asked many times during this farewell season, ‘Is ending the show bittersweet?’ Well, I say all sweet. No bitter. And here is why: Many of us have been together for 25 years. We have hooted and hollered together, had our aha! moments, we ugly-cried together and we did our gratitude journals. So I thank you all for your support and your trust in me. I thank you for sharing this yellow brick road of blessings. I thank you for tuning in every day along with your mothers and your sisters and your daughters, your partners, gay and otherwise, your friends and all the husbands who got coaxed into watching Oprah. And I thank you for being as much of a sweet inspiration for me as I’ve tried to be for you.
“I won’t say goodbye. I’ll just say…until we meet again.”
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